Purposeful Living and Dating

In our previous post, we talked about soul ties —those deep emotional, mental, and sometimes spiritual connections that can keep us bound to past relationships, even when we know they’re unhealthy. But what if I told you that soul ties aren’t the only things holding you back? Sometimes, it’s not about who you were connected to; it’s about what you’re still carrying. That’s what we’re talking about this week: emotional baggage. What is Emotional Baggage? Think of baggage in the literal sense. When you travel, you pack a bag—sometimes light, sometimes heavy. Now imagine carrying around a massive, overstuffed suitcase everywhere you go . No matter what you’re doing, it’s always there, weighing you down, making every step harder than it needs to be. That’s exactly what emotional baggage does. It’s made up of all the pain, heartbreak, disappointment, and unresolved issues you carry from your past. It’s the hurt you haven’t healed from, the bitterness you haven’t let go of, and the burde...

Last week, we talked about why it’s so important to heal before you deal. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that healing is a journey—it doesn’t happen overnight. Some days, you feel like you’re doing just fine, then out of nowhere, the emotions hit again, and it’s like you’re back at square one. I get it. Moving on from someone you once spent every waking moment with isn’t easy. Someone you thought you’d do life with. Someone you were sure was your final destination, only for them to get off the ride before the journey was even close to over. It’s painful. But as much as it hurts, you have to learn to move forward—so that when the right, whole, and healthy love comes along, you’re actually ready to receive it. God understands this, which is why He says in Isaiah 43:18-19: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" Maybe your pain isn’t even from a dating relationship. Maybe you lost a ...

Last week, if you remember, we discussed the foundation of becoming the right person, starting with understanding our identity in God. In the second point, we explored emotional and mental maturity, and I asked some deep questions for reflection. I hope you took the time to sit with those questions, but just in case you skimmed over them, let me ask again: Have you learned how to manage your emotions healthily? Have you developed the ability to respond in love instead of reacting in hurt? Most people deeply desire love—to pour it out and to be loved in return. But the truth is, not everyone can love fully. Maybe you’ve been wounded by a past relationship, hurt by a close friendship, or even carry childhood trauma. You might still be able to love, but not in the fullest capacity—because the last time you gave your all, you got burned. And now, you’re afraid. For some, this fear turns into emotional walls; for others, it leads to a cycle of rushed relationships. They jump from on...

As we wrap up our series on building character and capacity, I want us to take a step back and examine the foundation of becoming the right person. We’ve spent the past few weeks looking at why character matters, how the fruits of the Holy Spirit shape us, and the role of commitment in relationships. Now, it’s time to bring it all together. Becoming the right person involves: Spiritual growth and capacity Emotional and mental maturity Cultivating godly character Preparing and developing godly and healthy relationship skills Many more This blog post serves as a capstone for everything we’ve uncovered over the past few weeks. When we talk about becoming the right person, we are responsible for becoming the best version of who God has called us to be. This isn't about waiting for someone to complete you—you are whole in and by yourself. Everyone keeps saying they want to meet their Boaz , but let’s be real— there is a kind of Ruth that Boaz will notice. If you are a Bible st...

In the first week , we explored why your character matters as a single person , emphasizing that your character reflects Christ in you and is a key determinant of the relationships you attract. In the second week , we examined your character and the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). We saw how love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control shape the way we treat others and prepare us for a godly, purposeful relationship. Now, as we step into the third week of February , I want us to reflect on a crucial question: Can you commit with your character? Sometimes, the absence of a relationship or a potential partner isn’t because of external factors but rather an internal factor that needs to be worked on. Many people desire love and marriage, but the real question is: Are you prepared for the commitment that comes with it? What Does Commitment Really Mean? Before we dive deeper, let’s first define commitment. Merriam-Webster Dicti...

Last week, we discussed the importance of character development and why we must build our character as a child of God. I also asked you to do a self-audit of your character. By now, I hope you’ve identified the habits you need to let go of and the ones you need to embrace. When people see you, can they say you are a child of God who has embraced His life? The Bible tells us, “By their fruits, you shall know them” (Matthew 7:16) . So, what kind of fruits are you producing? What can people say about you? As children of God, our character should reflect the fruits of the Spirit as outlined in Galatians 5:22-23 : “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.” Looking at the meaning of "fruit" in its literal sense, it represents the result or outcome of a process. Likewise, our lives are meant to produce results that show we carry God’s signature. If we claim to be ...