Becoming the Right Person Before Meeting the Right Person

As we wrap up our series on building character and capacity, I want us to take a step back and examine the foundation of becoming the right person. We’ve spent the past few weeks looking at why character matters, how the fruits of the Holy Spirit shape us, and the role of commitment in relationships. Now, it’s time to bring it all together.

Becoming the right person involves:

  • Spiritual growth and capacity
  • Emotional and mental maturity
  • Cultivating godly character
  • Preparing and developing godly and healthy relationship skills
  • Many more

This blog post serves as a capstone for everything we’ve uncovered over the past few weeks. When we talk about becoming the right person, we are responsible for becoming the best version of who God has called us to be. This isn't about waiting for someone to complete you—you are whole in and by yourself.

Everyone keeps saying they want to meet their Boaz, but let’s be real—there is a kind of Ruth that Boaz will notice.

If you are a Bible student, I trust you’re familiar with the story of Ruth. Her journey wasn’t easy—her husband died, she left her homeland, and she followed Naomi into the unknown, even after Naomi released her. Ruth 1:9 records how Naomi told her daughters-in-law to return home and remarry, but Ruth refused. Instead, she made a firm commitment (Ruth 1:16-17) to stay with Naomi, demonstrating loyalty, sacrifice, and faithfulness.

Ruth’s story unfolds as she steps into the field to work. She didn’t sit in self-pity or laziness—she was a woman of character (Ruth 2:1-11). She focused on becoming, not just waiting. She positioned herself in purpose, not in front of Boaz. Before anyone could speak about her, her character spoke for her. She wasn’t just at the right place—she was committed to the right place and also embraced her season.

The Bible makes it clear that Boaz noticed Ruth, but it wasn’t immediately after she got there. Imagine if Ruth had given up too soon. Instead, she remained faithful, and when the moment came, Boaz testified about her virtue, resilience, and wisdom before he made his decision (Ruth 3:11).



The Foundation of Becoming the Right Person

The journey of becoming starts with you and your relationship with God. You must first know who you are in Christ before you can recognize the right partner.

1. Understanding Your Identity in Christ
You are God’s masterpiece, carefully and intentionally created (Psalm 139:13-16). This means your life isn’t random—God has designed you with a purpose, and that purpose shapes who you are meant to become. You can’t handle your life carelessly or settle for just anyone because you’re trying to "find the one."

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Before you rush into a relationship, have you:

  • Taken time to understand God's plan for you?
  • Discovered what He has called you to do?
  • Started pursuing His purpose for your life?

When you become the right person, you don’t just attract the right partner; you align with God’s will for your life.



2. Emotional & Mental Maturity

Before the right person comes, are you whole emotionally? Or are you still carrying the baggage of past hurts and disappointments?

Unresolved pain from past relationships can hinder even a godly relationship. Have you:

  • Learned how to manage your emotions healthily?
  • Developed the ability to respond in love instead of reacting in hurt?

Developing emotional and mental maturity isn’t optional—it’s essential.


3. Building Godly Character
We’ve talked extensively about this in the past few weeks:

Your character determines your capacity to love, trust, and stay faithful in a relationship. A lack of patience, integrity, or self-control will make commitment difficult. Proverbs 14:29 says, "Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly."


4. Developing Healthy Relationship Skills
In the coming weeks, we will focus on developing healthy relationship skills like:

  • Effective communication: Knowing how to listen, understand, and express yourself in a godly way.
  • Conflict resolution: Handling disagreements with wisdom and love.
  • Selflessness & humility: Learning how to be selfless in a relationship. A relationship built on selfishness is already set up to fail. Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others."

A lack of communication, patience, and humility can wreck a relationship before it even starts. So why not start practising these virtues now?


At the heart of everything we’ve discussed this month, one truth stands firm: you don’t just find the right person; you become the right person. It’s easy to desire a godly and fulfilling relationship, but the real question is: Are you the kind of person you are praying for? Becoming the right person isn’t about perfection; it’s about growth, intentionality, and surrendering to God’s process. God is too faithful to give you something you’re not prepared for.

So, as we close out this series on character and capacity development, I challenge you to take a step back and reflect on the following questions:
  • Am I emotionally whole, or am I still carrying baggage from my past?
  • Am I actively growing in my character and walking with God?
  • Have I discovered and embraced my purpose?
  • Do I communicate well, manage conflicts wisely, and love selflessly?

Because the truth is, a relationship won’t fix what only God can heal. You attract and sustain the kind of relationship your character can handle.


Now, here’s what I want you to do:

Pray & Seek God’s Help: Psalm 139:23-24 says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Surround Yourself with Godly Counsel: Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that iron sharpens iron. Who speaks into your life? You need accountability and wise counsel.

Start Practicing Now: Don’t wait until you’re in a relationship to cultivate faithfulness, patience, self-control, and humility. Start now with friendships, family, and everyday interactions.

Commit to Growth: This is a journey, not a one-time fix. Keep growing, keep learning, and keep surrendering to God’s process.

We’ll be diving deeper into what healthy relationship skills are and how you can develop them in the coming weeks, so stay connected! If you have any thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear from you. You are not just waiting for the right person; you are becoming the right person.

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