Can You Commit With Your Character?

In the first week, we explored why your character matters as a single person, emphasizing that your character reflects Christ in you and is a key determinant of the relationships you attract.

In the second week, we examined your character and the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). We saw how love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control shape the way we treat others and prepare us for a godly, purposeful relationship.

Now, as we step into the third week of February, I want us to reflect on a crucial question: Can you commit with your character?

Sometimes, the absence of a relationship or a potential partner isn’t because of external factors but rather an internal factor that needs to be worked on. Many people desire love and marriage, but the real question is: Are you prepared for the commitment that comes with it?

What Does Commitment Really Mean?

Before we dive deeper, let’s first define commitment. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines commitment as “the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, or relationship.” It involves a firm intention to carry out obligations or adhere to promises, often requiring perseverance and loyalty.

Beyond the surface-level understanding of commitment, I want you to pay close attention to this definition. It speaks of:

  • A firm dedication to a cause or relationship.
  • An intention to stay and stand firm in the face of challenges, adversity, and misunderstandings.
  • The willingness to let go of certain things for the sake of the commitment.


This definition alone highlights why you must build capacity—because true commitment means you don’t run at the first sight of difficulty.

Commitment in relationships isn’t just about feelings. There will be days when you don’t feel the butterflies anymore. There will be times when you just want to be left alone and not engage with anyone. But what keeps you moving on days like that? Your commitment.

Commitment in relationships is built on integrity, trustworthiness, and perseverance.


The God-Kind of Commitment

The kind of commitment we need isn’t just human commitment—it is the God-kind of commitment that isn’t based on whether someone meets our expectations.

2 Timothy 2:13 (NIV) – “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot disown Himself.”

God remains faithful even when we fall short. Now, ask yourself: Have you built your capacity to do good even when it’s not reciprocated? Or do you only give when you are being given?

If you truly desire a faithful and blissful relationship, it must be based on the standard of Scripture, with Jesus at the core. Without this foundation, commitment will be difficult because our human nature often goes against the Spirit of God.

Galatians 5:17 (NLT) – “The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”

So, when your partner offends you and the Holy Spirit is prompting you to say “I’m sorry” first, can you do it? Can you commit with your character and capacity?


Your Character Determines Your Ability to Commit

Some people are not in a relationship not because there are no prospects, but because their character couldn’t sustain a relationship.

If you lack patience, integrity, or self-control, staying committed will be difficult.

Last week, we examined the fruits of the Holy Spirit and how they help in cultivating a godly character. Staying true to your words and your partner requires faithfulness.

Because here’s the truth:
You will always see “someone better” than your partner. If you lack self-control and faithfulness, you will find yourself jumping from one person to another, thinking the grass is greener on the other side. But once you get there, you’ll realize that patience would have been the solution all along. Proverbs 14:29 (GNT) – “If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are.” 



Humility in Relationships

Humility is another key aspect of commitment. Humility allows you to accept your mistakes, adjust, and grow. Proverbs 16:18 (NIV) – “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” A person who never admits they are wrong is a walking red flag. If you are in a relationship with someone who refuses to acknowledge their mistakes, RUN! There’s a fine line between the challenges you should bear in a relationship and the red flags that shouldn’t be ignored. I hope we can dive deeper into these topics in our future blog posts. In the meantime, if you have any questions or need clarification, feel free to reach out to me via email here: oyindamolamaryadesinagmail.com.

Philippians 2:3-4 (GNT) – “Don't do anything from selfish ambition or from a desire to boast, but be humble toward one another, always considering others better than yourselves. And look out for one another’s interests, not just for your own.” Everything in relationships becomes beautiful when it is built on Christ.


Common Character Flaws That Hinder Commitment

In a few lines, let’s examine some character flaws that can hinder commitment:

1. Selfishness

A selfish person doesn’t have much to give because they are always thinking about themselves. They make decisions that favor them at the expense of their partner. If your relationship isn’t leading to marriage, ask yourself: Are you in it for the fun of it, or are you truly building something meaningful?


2. Pride & Unwillingness to Change

We already spoke about humility, but pride and the refusal to change are deadly flaws that destroy relationships. Proverbs 16:18 (NIV) – “Pride leads to destruction, and arrogance to downfall.” If you are unwilling to learn, adjust, and grow, you are not ready for a committed relationship.


Where Do You Go From Here?

1. Self-Reflection & Prayer

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that some seasons of singleness aren’t because of external factors but internal ones. Take time to reflect and pray for growth in your character. Psalm 139:23-24 (GNT) – “Examine me, O God, and know my mind; test me, and discover my thoughts. Find out if there is any evil in me, and guide me in the everlasting way.”

Use this scripture in your prayers, asking God to reveal and refine any character flaws that may be affecting your relationships.


2. Surround Yourself With Godly Counsel

Proverbs 27:17 (GNT) – “People learn from one another, just as iron sharpens iron.”

The Bible also says there is safety in godly counsel. Surround yourself with people who will challenge you to grow in character and faith.



3. Practice Faithfulness in Your Friendships

Commitment isn’t just for romantic relationships—it’s a lifestyle. Be faithful in your friendships, your responsibilities, and your word.


4. Be Open to Accountability

Proverbs 12:1 (GNT) – “Anyone who loves knowledge wants to be told when they are wrong. It is stupid to hate being corrected.” A teachable heart is necessary for growth. If you resist correction, you will remain stagnant in your character development.


Final Thoughts

Commitment isn’t just about finding the right person; it’s about being the right person. Next week, we will go deeper into what this truly means. In the meantime, take some time for self-reflection:

  • Am I truly ready for a committed relationship?
  • What areas of my character do I need to work on?

Pray, seek God’s help, and allow Him to shape you into the right person before meeting the right person.

If you would like to keep in touch or you have any questions, feel free to reach out:


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New month! Better obedience!

Helloooo! I hope it's not too late to wish you a happy new month. I welcome you into the sixth month of 2024. Trust me, it is going to be a beautiful month for you! I have been wanting to write to you since 2020, but sadly, it never happened. If you are asking why, I don't think I have an answer to your question. Or would I say I was afraid?  What if I write, and I don't write well? What if I write, and nobody reads it? Many what ifs... But finally, I am doing this. I am writing to you! Please pat me on my back. The Lord has many beautiful things in store and I cannot wait to share them with you. As He lays it upon my heart, I will share my learnings from the scriptures with you. I will also write to singles like me, as the Lord will grant me grace. I know you have questions like: How soon will you be getting updates on my blog post? What time and what day will I be publishing? Once I figure it all out, I will get back to you. Till then, I remain the Lord's writer.  Let...
Read more

Finding Contentment and Joy in Singleness

Image
Introduction: A Personal Reflection Hello, it's been a while since I last wrote to you. I didn’t reach out last week because I wasn’t in the space to pour out; I needed to be poured into. I felt bad because I promised consistency—not to miss a week. But I also committed to writing as the Holy Spirit leads, and last week, I needed His help. I thank God for restoration, and this experience reminded me why we need God’s continuous help. Finding Contentment in Singleness This week, we’ll focus on finding contentment and joy in singleness. Over the past week, we’ve talked about our identity as children of God. By now, if you've been following along, your confidence should be boosted by knowing who you are and who your Father is. From understanding your identity in God, I believe you've experienced a joy from this knowledge—a joy that’s hard to define. The Bible says,  “Those who know their God shall do great exploits.” Many people rush out of the singlehood phase, forgetting tha...
Read more

Your Single Season: A Season of Strength, Not Setbacks

Image
Yesterday on my Instagram page, I posted five tips for thriving as a single, and I thought it would be worth expanding on here in this blog post. Marriage is a beautiful and beneficial experience. The Bible even highlights the strength found in partnership, noting that "one person would chase a thousand, but two would chase ten thousand." However, the fact that marriage is valuable doesn’t mean your single season is a curse. Just like a married season, your single season also brings strength and blessings. In case you're unsure about what this "single season" means or what it’s all about, let’s explore it together. What is the "Single Season"? A "single season" is a period in a person’s life when they are not in a romantic relationship or marriage. This season may be temporary or extended, but it is often a unique opportunity for self-discovery, personal growth, and strengthening one’s relationship with God. During the single season, individu...
Read more