Why does your character matter as a single person?

Building Character and Capacity...

This topic has been so strong in my heart from the beginning of this month. I can’t particularly say why, but I know the Holy Spirit has led me to study and share this with you.

Reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren has given me a deeper, more personal understanding that Jesus didn’t just come to save me—He came to transform me. He took away my old nature and gave me His new nature. With this divine exchange comes a new set of character traits, and a new way of living.

The one true way for people to see that I now belong to Jesus is through my character and how I treat others. You can’t claim to have encountered Christ and yet show no evidence of transformation. You can’t say you have accepted the new nature of Christ—one filled with meekness, love, and righteousness—and continue to act otherwise.

A person who truly yielded to Christ begins to reflect His character. After all, the Bible says that the goal of our faith is to be transformed into the image of Christ (Romans 8:29).


So, Why Does Your Character Matter as a Single Person?

When we say yes to Jesus, certain things in our lives must be changed, transformed, or broken away. At the same time, new qualities must be developed within us.


We cannot be singles wishing and praying for the best of God while refusing to submit to the workings of the Holy Spirit. Last week, we explored how the right preparation is essential. Today, I want us to learn from the foolish virgins—they started preparing after the bridegroom had come when the preparation was meant to happen before.

As a single who desires a purposeful and God-ordained marriage, you don’t prepare after you’ve said ‘yes’—you prepare before. The preparation for the kind of marriage and life you desire starts now.


God Will Not Give His Best to Someone Who Lacks the Character to Sustain It

God is a wise Father. He will not entrust His best to someone who doesn’t have the character and capacity to handle it. Your level of growth determines the kind of blessings you can sustain. I’ve heard people say: “If he/she can’t accept me the way I am, they better leave me alone. I’m going to find someone who will love all my imperfections and flaws.” But I want to ask you this: Why settle for this mindset when you have the chance to become a better version of yourself?

Why do you expect people to always tolerate your bad character and imperfections? Even if they do at first, a time will come when they will grow weary of it. Love is patient, but love also calls for growth. And it doesn’t matter how much you hide it, your character always has a way of speaking for itself.

There is a popular saying in Yoruba, and I will translate it: “Your character is like smoke.” It doesn’t matter how much you try to hide it, it will always show. Your character is who you are when no one is watching. The choices, and decisions you make are influenced by your character, and the accumulated choices you make determine the outcome of your life.


Who Are You When No One Is Watching?

What do you do when no one is watching you? This is a powerful question we must all ask ourselves. The kind of person you are when no one is looking will ultimately reflect the life you build. Your character is the true foundation of who you are—it shapes your decisions and actions.

Do you remember the story of Joseph? He turned down the advances of Potiphar's wife even when no one was watching. Have you ever wondered where giving in to temptation would have led him? Think about how that one choice could have altered his entire journey.

Genesis 39:9 – “How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?”

You see, your character is tested not just when others are around, but in the private moments—those seemingly small decisions that ultimately define your life.



The Choices You Make Shape Your Future

The choices you make—whether big or small—reflect who you truly are inside. You can’t expect to attract a godly relationship or a purposeful marriage when your character hasn’t been shaped and moulded by Christ. The person you are today will determine who you attract tomorrow. If you are not building your character, you will attract people who are also not built on solid foundations.

Building character and capacity isn’t a one-time decision; it’s a continuous process that requires dedication, self-reflection, and a willingness to submit to God’s transformative work in your life.

The journey of building your character begins today, whether you are single or already in a relationship. It’s not about waiting for “the right person” to come along to shape you, but about preparing yourself to become the right person for a godly and purposeful relationship. Your character is a reflection of the transformation Christ wants to bring about in your life.

Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

Throughout this month, we will take a deeper dive into this topic. I want you to prepare your heart for what’s ahead. Before our next post, I challenge you to do a self-audit of your character. Grab a pen and paper or use your phone—whichever works best for you. Ask yourself:

  • What kind of relationship or marriage am I envisioning for myself?
  • What character traits do I exhibit that may not help me in reaching my destination?
  • What habits do I need to embrace and which ones do I need to let go of?

If you would like to keep in touch or you have any questions, feel free to reach out:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New month! Better obedience!

Helloooo! I hope it's not too late to wish you a happy new month. I welcome you into the sixth month of 2024. Trust me, it is going to be a beautiful month for you! I have been wanting to write to you since 2020, but sadly, it never happened. If you are asking why, I don't think I have an answer to your question. Or would I say I was afraid?  What if I write, and I don't write well? What if I write, and nobody reads it? Many what ifs... But finally, I am doing this. I am writing to you! Please pat me on my back. The Lord has many beautiful things in store and I cannot wait to share them with you. As He lays it upon my heart, I will share my learnings from the scriptures with you. I will also write to singles like me, as the Lord will grant me grace. I know you have questions like: How soon will you be getting updates on my blog post? What time and what day will I be publishing? Once I figure it all out, I will get back to you. Till then, I remain the Lord's writer.  Let...
Read more

Finding Contentment and Joy in Singleness

Image
Introduction: A Personal Reflection Hello, it's been a while since I last wrote to you. I didn’t reach out last week because I wasn’t in the space to pour out; I needed to be poured into. I felt bad because I promised consistency—not to miss a week. But I also committed to writing as the Holy Spirit leads, and last week, I needed His help. I thank God for restoration, and this experience reminded me why we need God’s continuous help. Finding Contentment in Singleness This week, we’ll focus on finding contentment and joy in singleness. Over the past week, we’ve talked about our identity as children of God. By now, if you've been following along, your confidence should be boosted by knowing who you are and who your Father is. From understanding your identity in God, I believe you've experienced a joy from this knowledge—a joy that’s hard to define. The Bible says,  “Those who know their God shall do great exploits.” Many people rush out of the singlehood phase, forgetting tha...
Read more

Your Single Season: A Season of Strength, Not Setbacks

Image
Yesterday on my Instagram page, I posted five tips for thriving as a single, and I thought it would be worth expanding on here in this blog post. Marriage is a beautiful and beneficial experience. The Bible even highlights the strength found in partnership, noting that "one person would chase a thousand, but two would chase ten thousand." However, the fact that marriage is valuable doesn’t mean your single season is a curse. Just like a married season, your single season also brings strength and blessings. In case you're unsure about what this "single season" means or what it’s all about, let’s explore it together. What is the "Single Season"? A "single season" is a period in a person’s life when they are not in a romantic relationship or marriage. This season may be temporary or extended, but it is often a unique opportunity for self-discovery, personal growth, and strengthening one’s relationship with God. During the single season, individu...
Read more